A birthday! Oh no!
by Welsh-dragoon
Summary: The authors birthday is on Friday...what are the fellowship going to do? Totally void of plot...


Hello! Sorry for kinda not posting anything for a while...lots of things have been coming up, namely schoolwork, but this week I have no homework! Yay! Well enjoy this weird attempt at humour...  
  
Warning: Tis a silly fic.  
  
  
  
It was a lovely day in Middle-Earth, with the exception of rain in Mordor. The birds were singing, and the sun was shining. Most of the Fellowship, save Boromir, were sunbathing. Suddenly Aragorn sat up, with a grimace on his face, causing a brief moment of panic amongst the others.  
  
"What is it Aragorn? Orcs?" Gimli asked, his hand quickly going to his axe.  
  
"Ringwraiths?" Sam inquired  
  
"No, worse!" Aragorn said. The others looked at him.  
  
"What could be worse that Ringwraiths or Orcs?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Its Welsh-dragoon's 17th birthday on Friday!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, who here has bought her anything?" There was a long silence. Pippin looked up at Aragorn.  
  
"I can give her my mushrooms!" Merry shook his head.  
  
"She don't like mushrooms. Get it right Pip, otherwise she'll write another chapter of Random Acts of Madness in Middle Earth. You don't want that do you?"  
  
Pippin shuddered at the mere thought.  
  
A laugh echoes through Middle Earth followed by  
  
"Little do they know! Bwahahahaha-ouch! My tongue!"  
  
The Fellowship cast glances at one another.  
  
"Was that who I think it was?" Frodo asked, looking around.  
  
"I think it was..." Sam replied.  
  
"What are we going to do about Welshy Drag's birthday then?" Gimli asked.  
  
"Well if it was Jellylady's birthday we could send Sam as a stripper..." Pippin said matter of factly. This earned a bonk on the head from Sam.  
  
"I ain't doing no strippin' for anyone!"  
  
"Not even for Frodo?"  
  
"Where do you get these sick ideas? I like Rosie!" Sam shouted.  
  
"Aha! I knew it!" Frodo jumped up, "I knew you liked her!" Sam just blushed and began mumbling death threats to everyone.  
  
"I know what we can do..." Legolas said smirking. The rest of the Fellowship sat down and resumed sunbathing. Legolas, not too pleased about being ignored, whipped out a microphone from nowhere and yelled into it.  
  
"I said, I have a plan!" Everyone jumped up, hands covering ears.  
  
"You? Have a plan? Really?" Aragorn said, pointing at the elf.  
  
"Yes. Is it that hard to believe?"  
  
"Yup." Everyone said at the same time.  
  
"You really think I'm an idiot?" Nods came from every member. Legolas sighed. "So do you want to hear my idea?"  
  
"Meh...S'pose..." Frodo shrugged.  
  
"Fine. Good. Well-"  
  
"Argh! A spider! Kill it!" Gimli shrieked, latching onto Legolas.  
  
"Do you mind? I was trying to tell my plan."  
  
"B-but the spider..." Gimli pointed to a small spider on the ground.  
  
"Grr! Fine!" Legolas flicked it away. "Now can I tell you my plan?"  
  
"Ok." Gimli jumped away from Legolas.  
  
"Thank you! Now, as we all know, Welshdragoon is a fan of the rugged ranger over there." Legolas pointed to Aragorn. " My plan is to send him all gift wrapped and let her unwrap him herself. Or we could send him as a stripper..." Cheers came from everyone but Aragorn.  
  
"Do I have no say in this?"  
  
"Nope!"  
  
Aragorn sighed. Legolas rubbed his hands with glee.  
  
"At least we have the perfect present for her. Think of it as doing your country a favour."  
  
"I thought I did that during the Ring of Power..."  
  
So it was that Aragorn was to be sent to Welshdragoon in nothing but a big red ribbon. Due to Aragorn's biting ways, Frodo had to gag him. After being the victim of a few nasty bites he succeeded in putting one of Gimli's socks in his mouth.  
  
"Mmmf! Mf!"  
  
"Yes I know its nasty, but what do you expect? Its Gimli's sock."  
  
"Oi!" Gimli shouted, one foot bare and smelling not so fresh. The hobbits and Legolas began to dress Aragorn in the lovely red ribbon. Soon they had done the job. If someone had walked past, they would have thought that a Christmas tree decoration had escaped.  
  
"A work of art!" Legolas clasped his hands together and had a dreamy look in his eyes.  
  
"No good. We've lost him." Pippin said, waving a hand in front of Legolas.  
  
"Well let's get him sent off to Welshdragoon." Frodo and Sam dragged a large wooden box over. It had air holes in it and was marked 'fragile'.  
  
"I'm not going in that!" Aragorn said.  
  
"How did you get the sock out of your mouth?" Legolas asked, shocked.  
  
"Ever heard of a little something called spitting?"  
  
"Ew! That's disgusting!"  
  
"Yes well what else could I have done?"  
  
"Come on Strider, in you go." Aragorn now found himself being lead to the box by Pippin and Sam.  
  
"Eep! No! I don't wanna go!"  
  
"I'll give you lots of sweets when you get back." Legolas said  
  
"Smarties?!"  
  
"I suppose..."  
  
"Yippee!" Aragorn leaped into the box and pulled the lid down. Frodo scratched his head.  
  
"We'll need to pay for postage..."  
  
END  
  
  
  
One word...pointless! I just felt like doing that...hehe...Yay! I'm 17 on Friday! I can learn to drive! Woo! But I think I'll stick to the bus for now. Much safer. 


End file.
